Great North Woods: December 2004

Ho! Ho! Ho my ass!

Well Christmas has come and gone and Santa did not bring me what I asked for. As you well know I only asked for a Ho, a Ho and another Ho. So I hung up Three pairs of panty hose expecting Santa to fill them with a blond a redhead and a brunette. I don’t think that was asking to much from a guy who passes Ho’s around this time of year like he has plenty to spare. Maybe I was being a little greedy asking for three, but he could have filled at least one pair to make an old man happy. Santa stinks! Christmas stinks!
But that is in the past so lets put Christmas behind us and move on to the New Year.
I would like to make a nice New Years card here but as you know I am the "Layz1"
So I will ask you to use your imagination here and make your own card.
Insert image of your choice here.
Wishing you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR, [all but Santa that is.]
From Layz1 and the Dust Bunnies.
This is me saying goodbye to you till whenever.

What the hell is going on here!

Well amigos, when I move just south of the border I envisioned spending my golden years wearing nothing but Hawaiian shirts and Bermuda shorts. Imaging my surprise when I jumped out of bed this morning and it was a balmy 32 degrees below zero. I’m not talking wind chill I am talking real temperature here. By comparison Fairbanks Alaska was 14 degrees below zero and Anchorage Alaska was 14 degrees above zero this morning. So don’t believe what they say about the warm weather south of the border.
I wonder if they could be talking about a border other then the Canadian border? Well I need to get into some warmer clothes so this is me saying goodbye to you till whenever.

Have a Merry Christmas

Merry Xmas

Have a very Merry Christmas. HO! HO! HO!
Which is exactly what I want Santa to bring me for Xmas. 3 HOs
This is me saying goodbye to you till whenever.

Dust bunnies from hell.

Well here I sit back in front of the keyboard, bruised and beaten. Now if you can keep a secret I will tell you how the bruised and beaten part happened. Be sure you keep this to yourself if word got out about this I am sure I would end up in a straight jacket, or worse have my medication taken away from me. I know you will find this hard to believe but take my word for it, my house is not like any house you are aware of. Friday December 17th, started out as a normal enough day but I new it would not be a normal day, because it was house cleaning day. As always when I do my house cleaning I saved what I know will be the worst part for last. It all starts when I drag out the old Hoover and plug her in, then all hell breaks loose. The gang of dust bunnies under the bed turn into the dust bunnies from hell. Bunny scampered out from under the bed and bit me on the ankle, while I tried to shake her loose from my ankle Clump climbed onto the bed and cannon balls off the bed into my groin sending me crashing to the floor in some serious pain. As soon as I hit the floor the rest of the dust bunny gang scurried out from under the bed and pummeled me into unconsciousness. When I came too all the dust bunnies were gone and the bag on the Hoover was torn to shreds. Sometimes I think, why not just give up but then the reality of it all comes to me, today they conquer my home, tomorrow the world.! It’s all up to me, I must save the world from these evil things. I wish I could get the best of them just once so I could prove to myself that they can be beat. I thought I did one in awhile ago but it turn out he had a fight with his mate and was suicidal, he actually threw himself in front of the Hoover. Under the circumstances that kill was not much of a confidence builder for me. Well I’m off to the vacuum repair shop to get a new bag for the Hoover. Damn! Did I accidentally take my meds twice today? Oh well! This is me saying goodbye to you till whenever

Baa Humbug

Well I decorated my Xmas tree today, what a pain in the ass! The weather has to be just right because my tree is a live tree outside. I don’t do an inside tree, I can’t see any need for it when I have this beautiful tree right in front of my trailer. It’s not that it takes me that long to decorate it but I agonize for hours as to where to put the ornament. But I think this year I found the perfect spot, I posted a picture to my blog so you be the judge. This is me, saying goodbye, to you for now.