Girlfriend

Now that the holidays are over I will share the bad news that I received just before Christmas. I have kept this to myself because I didn't want to ruin the holidays for anyone else. My live in girlfriend has been losing weight and starting to look pretty sick so I took her to the doctors for what I thought was just another slow leak. We were both surprised when the plastic surgeon said that she was terminal.
She has a rare disease called porouscy, it causes the skin to get very porous and the body can no longer hold air. At least it is not contagious like Aids. Now that would be the definition of irony, if I had to use a condom on a rubber woman. The plastic surgeon thought that she might get me through, I mean make it through the winter. But when I got up on New Years day she looked like she needed a big hug so I grabbed her around her now very small waist and gave her a big squeeze and poof she was gone. I guess I don't know my own strength. Now don't feel bad for me I have moved on, but you can see now why I was upset when Santa didn't bring me what I asked for. I knew I would soon be in need of a new girlfriend, now I have to go to the Girlfriend store in Canada and pick up a new one. However this time I think I will pick up two of them. Even and old man like me knows that a relationship is a lot more fun if you can cheat.
So this is me saying goodbye to you till whenever